The One that Got Away
by PurpleGrl
Summary: Two years ago Jess broke Nick's heart. Now they're back together and determined to make their relationship work this time. However when Jess tells Nick something detrimental to their relationship, what will happen?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone, **

**I don't own new girl because otherwise I would make season 3 come to England at the same time as the US. I mean c'mon fox I've been waiting for season 3 forever now. I need my Ness fix!**

**Please check out my other new story which I recently posted too! Hope you like this story!**

Nick anxiously blew on his coffee watching the steam rise off it and tickle his chin leaving little beads of water behind on his designer stubble. He didn't even know why he had even ordered it in the first place seeing as he never really liked the taste. He wished that he had ordered hot chocolate now but this was part of the more mature Nick. A Nick that actually knew how to iron clothes and went running almost everyday. He actually owned two suits now and neither was one of Schmidt's old ones. He was now a proper businessman with a briefcase and everything.

Looking up he saw her strolling towards him wearing the same red coat that she had always had. However she looked different, still stunning but different. She had grown out her bangs which he didn't like because he had always loved her bangs and used to play with them all the time before. They added to her character and framed her face nevertheless her new hair cut still suited her. Everything else about her was the same though. She still had the same cherry red lips and hot figure and most importantly she still had those sparkling blue eyes.

**::::::**

When Jess saw Nick at a table for her, her heart actually did little flips in her chest and she could feel herself blushing as she walked towards him. She half thought that he might not turn up even though he was the one that got in touch with her. It'd been two years since she broke up with him yet she realised that was still in love him. It had always been him. She'd had a few relationships since Nick but they never lasted because she had always broken up with them before it got serious. Now she realised that it was because she wanted to be with Nick, she just wished she'd realised that sooner because for all she knew he could be in a relationship or worse engaged. He looked a lot trimmer than she remembered, his muscles bulged through his shirt and he was actually wearing a tie. As she arrived and he got up to greet her she also got a whiff of posh aftershave too. He really had changed but he was still her Nick and she hoped she was still his Jess.

**:::::::**

_2 years ago_

_It should have been a perfect night, he had the ring in his pocket and no doubt whatsoever in his head about asking her to marry him. In fact the only nerves he was feeling were nerves of excitement and as she walked in the room looking like the most beautiful girl in the world he couldn't wait to claim her as his. He still believed she was way out of his league but he wasn't about to question her why she was with him. He just didn't expect her to have done._

_"Hello Jess," he greeted her getting up to kiss her on the lips. However when he kissed her he felt her stiffen even though she pretended to kiss him back. However he ignored it and helped her into her seat while gesturing for the waiter to bring a rosé over for her._

**:::::::**

Looking back at it Nick realised that deep down as soon as she stiffened against his kiss he knew that she was going to break up with him. He just didn't want to face the truth that night. He still didn't know why she did it and practically everyday for the last two years he had been trying to figure out the reason. That's why he had changed so much, he thought of every reason why she may have want to have broken up with him even when he knew she still loved him and changed himself according to it. He was now reliable, had a good job, was responsible and more mature. He wondered if that was the reason she agreed to meet with him to explain to him why she broke his heart. However now he sensed that it wasn't the time to ask her.

**::::::**

_"Ms Jessica Day, I know we've only been together for a year but already I know that you are the one that I want to be with for the rest of my life."_

_"Nick," she tried to interrupt him._

_"No sorry Jess just let me finish," he apologised fumbling in his pocket for the small box. "You are the most beautiful, kind, sweet and funny girl in the world and I am the luckiest man in the world to be sitting here at this table with you."_

_"Nick, don't," she tried._

_He ignored her though and got out of his chair and clumsily got down on one knee._

_"Jessica Day, will you do me the honour of.." he gabbled, gripping his hands on the box, ready to open it._

_"I'm breaking up with you," she blurted out quickly before he could say another word._

_He felt the blood drain from his face and quickly got back up and awkwardly sat down, trying to digest what she just said._

_"What do you mean your breaking up with me?" He asked._

_"I'm sorry Nick," was all she could reply back, her eyes filling with tears._

_"I just I just I just don't understand this, is there someone else?"_

_"She shook her head, too upset to say anything back._

_For a while they both just sat there, Jess too upset and Nick too shocked to say anything._

_Reality finally hit Nick and when he looked up at her, she saw the emptiness and pain his eyes that she had caused. That's when it was too much for her so she quickly cried out a last: sorry before running out of the restaurant with tears streaming down her face._

**:::::::**

_That was the stupidest thing I've ever done in my entire life, letting him go and cutting him out of my life,_ she thought. _I know I had a reason, I broke up with him to stop him from getting hurt in the long run but I still wish I hadn't done it._

When Nick realised she had run out the restaurant he tried to follow her but he lost her and when he went to the loft she wasn't there. He tried everywhere he could think of that she could possibly be but she wasn't anywhere. Then the next morning when he woke up she had moved out all of her stuff. No note or anything. All that was left of her was a scarf that she had left in his room by accident and so anytime Nick felt lost without her which was everyday. He picked up the scarf and cuddled it like it was her, inhaling her sweet smell that she had left behind on it. After she broke up with him Nick stayed in his room all day, like he had given up on living if she wasn't in his life. He only came out to get more beer or the occasional bit of food. However after six months, Winston and Schmidt dragged him out and bluntly told him to get up and move on with this his life. So that's what he did, he got up and tried to move on his life without her, it was so hard but he managed to use the break up to turn his life around.  
>Then last week he ran into Cece at the mall and she told him that Jess was back in L.A. permanently and after much, much begging she agreed to give him Jess' new number. Within one minute of sending the text she had replied saying that she would love to meet up with him. At last Nick felt that it was all falling into place and as Jess sat down next to him in the cafe he felt such elation. All the work he had done for her was worth it. Finally they were gonna get back together.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

"So Nick a lot has changed since I last saw you," Jess laughed gesturing towards his tie. She still couldn't get over the fact that Nick Miller was wearing a tie without being forced to.

"I guess you could say I have changed a little," Nick replied almost shyly, never liking to be the centre of attention. "What about you? What's happened to you these past few years?"

"Well I moved back to L.A. last month because I was offered a job here as a headmistress of a school in Pasadena. Before then I was back in Portland looking after my mom, she was diagnosed with breast cancer last year." Jess explained.

"I'm sorry to here that."

"It's fine you know she's been given the all clear now so hopefully she's gonna be fine now."

"That's great then," Nick smiled.

"Yeah it's a huge relief for everyone, anyway what have you done these past few years?"

"Well a new manger came in at the bar who I didn't really get on with so I decided to quit and set up one of my own. So far it's going great and I'm thinking about purchasing another. However I'm still living with Winston and Schmidt, couldn't really shake them off." Nick laughed.

"How are the guys?" Jess asked.

"Well Schmidt got back together with Elizabeth about six months ago, she's moved into the loft and they both are in the big room now. That means they had to swap rooms with Winston which he was not happy about believe me. I've had to listen to him bitching about it for the past month. He's still permanently single if you don't count his cat."

"And you?" She questioned tentatively. "Are you seeing anyone?"

"Not really," Nick admitted. "I've been a bit busy with the bar and everything so I guess I haven't really had the chance. What about you?"

"I'm single too," Jess smiled flirtatiously. "I've missed you Nick."

"I've missed you too Jess." Nick smiled back. God how he had missed her, even though he got himself out of the hole he fell into when she first left, he missed her every god damn day. Everyday he woke up alone without her sleeping next to him was like waking up with a thousand knives plunged into his chest. That was how much life hurt without her. Finally it was all going to be okay again. Despite how he felt there was still the niggle at the back of his mind, why did she dump him in the first place? Why did she wrench his heart out of his chest and stamp on it? He had spent many nights shouting that to Schmidt and Winston yet he still never found the answer. That was perhaps what made him the most depressed out of everything, the fact that he didn't know what he had done wrong.

**::::**

To hear that Nick had missed her despite what she had done to him made Jess realise just a how nice guy he was. He showed no anger or hate towards her like she might have been if she was in his position. She knew though that there was an elephant in the room, she knew he must want to know why she did what she did. She knew him more than she knew herself so she knew that he had probably spent week after week combing over everything that had happened before she had dumped him. She knew that she had hurt him and it killed her that she had caused him a lot of pain. He deserved to know though, she just had to figure out how to tell him this time rather than take the cowards way out.

**::::::**

_...and now everything's just messed up," Jess finished, her voice trembling._

_"Does Nick know?" Cece asked._

_"No, I have to tell him though. But if I do we're gonna have to break up anyway so maybe I should just break up with him and not tell him."_

_"But Jess, Nick loves you he would be there for you, he might be upset but he would understand. Surely that's better than not telling him."_

_"I want to protect him though, if this has to end I'd rather do it in a way that would hurt him the least. He's all I care about Cece."_

_Jess tried to bite her lips to stop herself from crying yet this time it did not work and before she knew it she had turned into a weeping wreck._

_"No Jess don't start crying," Cece said softly putting her arm around her best friend and handing her a tissue. "Maybe you can.."_

_"No," Jess cut her off. "I have to end it, it's the only way._

**::::::**

As Jess thought back to that conversation with Cece and overwhelming sense of guilt washed over her and she realised that all along Cece was right. It would have been better in the end to tell him, because then maybe it all could have worked out. She just hoped it wasn't a case of too little too late with Nick now.

"I still love you Nick," she whispered, so quietly Nick almost thought he had imagined it.

He felt his breath catch in his throat and his heart thump in his chest. He had waited two years for her to say that to him.

"I love you too Jess," he said hoarsely. "So much."

He saw Jess bite her lip and look at the floor like she always did when she was about to start crying and took her hand in his, interlocking his fingers with hers. Before that would always work however this time it didn't and he saw her eyes start to moisten and her nose wrinkle like it did when she was on the very brink of tears. So with his other hand he reached out and gently stroked her cheek and tilted her head to look up at him.

"Hey hey, don't cry. We always know that if you start crying then I start crying and that is never a good thing to see a grown man cry," Nick joked desperately trying to make her feel better. That instinct he had always had to do anything to make her happy was coming through.

However that still didn't work so Nick went to his last resort, bravely he took a deep breath stroked her cheek once more and leaned in towards her to kiss her better.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone, sorry I haven't updated in AGES but i broke my iPad and had to wait for about 6 weeks while it was getting fixed. Anyway so here's my new chapter and my other story should have a new chapter by monday.**

**p.s. Does anyone know when new girl season 3 is coming to england?**

_Jess lay in bed that next night unable to sleep as her mind was racing too much, trying to figure out what to do about the situation. She felt Nick put his hands on her waist and pull her in towards him, something he usually did in his sleep. However unlike other times that did nothing to reassure her and she unleashed a fresh batch of salty tears that wet the pillow her head was on. She let out a little sob which immediately woke up Nick who was saddened to see his girlfriend upset._

_ "Hey hey What's wrong Jess?" He asked softly, wiping the tears on her face away with his thumb. _

_"Nothing," She lied. _

_"It's obviously not nothing or you wouldn't be crying wouldn't you." He replied. _

_"It's nothing, just something that happened at school," she lied again. _

_"You wanna talk about it?" He asked, wiping away more tears. _

_"Not really," she replied, not able to look at him._

_ "Ok I respect that, but remember if you need me I'm here for you." _

_"I know," she nodded, more tears spilling out. So for the rest of the night they just lay there, both unable to fall asleep. Every Jess had managed to stop crying Nick would kiss the top of her head or play with her bangs which would set her off all over again. It was a vicious cycle and it was one of the worst nights of her life._

**:::::::: **

They stayed like that for a while, just kissing and smiling across at each other like two teenagers experiencing love for the first time. Eventually Jess broke and smiled at him nervously.

"Do you want to come back to my apartment? We've got a lot to catch up on."

"Sure I'd love to."

**::::::::1weeklater**

It was one of the best week of Nick's life, him and Jess pretty much spent the time either kissing or laughing together like they did before. It was all back on track and although Nick was still dying to know why Jess broke up with him he didn't want to jeopardise what they had. He had only just got her back, he wasn't going to lose her again that would destroy him. So as he scurried from the bar back to Jess' apartment with a big grin on his face he couldn't help but wonder if she felt the same way too. He was so far away from everything that he almost didn't see Cece come towards him.

"Hey Cece," Nick smiled when he saw her hurrying towards him.

"Nick hi," she smiled back, giving him a hug. "Sorry I can't stop for long, I'm meeting someone but how are you?"

"Pretty great actually."

"That's good, so what's happening with Jess then?" Cece asked protectively, getting straight to the point.

"I don't know, we're taking things slow I guess," Nick admitted.

"Yeah that's probably best after what happened," she nodded.

"Exactly, I think maybe last time we were moving too fast. I mean proposed after a year, for Gods sake!" Nick laughed.

"You proposed to her?" Cece asked looking horrified. "Jess never told me that."

"Well I guess it's not something you really want to bring up," Nick smiled uneasily.

"Yeah well I guess it's good that you've managed from that and the other thing too."

"What other thing?" Nick asked, confused.

"You know because of what happened before she broke up with you."

"No, what happened?"

"Oh, um you don't know then."

"What?" Nick asked angrily.

"I think it's best Jess tell you," Cece replied before walking off as fast as her legs could carry her.

** :::::::: **

Jess sleepily yawned as she turned over in bed, waiting for Nick to come back. She was so looking forward to see him that she couldn't even concentrate on the book she was reading. Finally things were gonna work out in her life. Her phone buzzed and she reached across feeling a slight twinge of disappointment when she saw it was Cece calling her and not Nick.

_ "Hey Cece what's up?"_ She smiled.

_"Um Jess did you tell Nick why you broke up with him?" _Cece asked sounding panicky.

_"No I just can't bring myself to bring it up,"_ Jess replied, her smile fading.

_"I'm so sorry Jess but I may have let it slip a little."_

_ "Why, what did you say?"_

_ "I didn't reveal anything about what actually happened, I just think I may have acted as a catalyst to him asking you why though. I'm so sorry Jess I am banging my head against a brick wall right now." _

Suddenly there was a loud, impatient knock at the door.

_"I've got to go then Cece I think that's him."_

_ "Ok I'm sorry babe, good luck."_

_ "Bye."_ Jess gabbled before practically sprinting towards the door. However once she got to the door she slowed down and composed herself, maybe it wasn't him.

"Hey," she said softly when she saw Nick's annoyed face behind the door.

"Hi," he replied back barging past her into her apartment.

"How are you?" She asked.

"Not great if I'm honest. Jess I have to know why did you break up with me?" Nick demanded, trying to control his temper.

"Do we have to do this now?" Jess asked, trying to delay for as long as possible.

"Yes we do," Nick said firmly.

"Why don't we deal with this tomorrow," Jess tried.

"Stop running from it Jess!" Nick yelled. "I mean c'mon Jess I've been pretty patient all this time but now I want the truth."

Jess turned away, too angry to even look at him, "Don't you get it Nick, the truth never helps anyone! All it creates is misery and anger."

"Jess what could be so possibly bad that you couldn't tell me after all this time?" Nick grabbed her arm roughly pulled it to face her back towards him. Instead of yelling back this time Jess took a couple of deep breaths to steady herself and looked up into the eyes of the man she loved and would now lose, ready to finally admit the secret she had been harbouring all that time.

"I cheated on you."


	4. Chapter 4

_Jess was woken up the next morning by Nick kissing the back of her neck, something she usually loved. However this time it wasn't making all of the little hairs on her neck stand on end. When she turned to face him she realised it was because that it wasn't Nick that was doing it, it was someone else. _

_"Morning sexy," he goofily smiled at her. _

_That's when the full force of what happened the previous night came crashing down on her with a such tremendous effect that filled her with horror. Quickly she moved her hands under the sheets, yep she was definitely naked. _

_"Ready for round two," he offered, already pulling himself on top of her. _

_"No get off me," she cried pushing him of her. Oh God what had she done. How could she have done this to Nick. "I'm sorry, I have to go," she gabbled, covering herself with a sheet and frantically searching his room for her clothes which were strewn messily about the place._

_ "Why the rush? When we could recreate what happened last night," he said seductively, stroking her hips. _

_"No I don't want to, this was a mistake, it never should have happened," Jess cried, yanking on her dress and shoes. "I'm sorry I've really got to go." And with that said she ran out of his apartment as fast as she could. _

_'Well done Jess you've ruined the best thing that ever happened to you,' she thought miserably_.

**::::::::**

Nick felt like he had been stabbed in the chest, as that was the last thing he was expecting her to say. He heard Jess let out a little sob in front of him and he resisted with all his strength the natural instinct he always felt to make her feel better.

"Nick say something," she cried.

"When and who?" He asked, feeling sick to his stomach

"Four days before we broke up, with a random guy I met," she sobbed.

"I'm so sorry it was a mistake. You can ask me anything and I will tell you the truth."

"I... I can't even look at you or be in the same room as your right now," he stammered, still in shock. "I...I should go."

"No please don't, we need to stay and talk about this," she gabbled grabbing onto his arm as he turned to leave.

"Leave me alone Jess," Nick shook her off him.

"Nick don't go please I need you," she begged him. He didn't answer though, he just carried on walking away from her.

"No Nick don't," she wept.

"Nick!" She finally screamed as he walked out the door. Sobbing she sunk on to her knees and lay on the floor in a crying wreck.

**::::::: **

Nick walked up the stairs to his apartment, to numb to process the reality of the situation. It was as if he was on autopilot mode, robotically walking towards his destination. It was only when he got into his room and closed the door that he let himself digest and process what had just happened. He couldn't believe that Jess had slept with another man, for all he knew on more than one occasion. Angrily he punched the wall, leaving a mark where he had hit it and bruising his wrist at the same time. Breaking down he crumbled onto the floor much like Jess did and started to cry lightly. Even after Jess left the first time Nick didn't cry, he just got depressed and drank his sorrows away to relieve the pain though. This time it was a different pain he felt, one that plunged into his very soul and made him cry his eyes out onto his bedroom floor.

"Nick are you ok? I heard a banging sou.." Winston trailed off as he saw Nick crying on the floor. "Oh crap you broke up with Jess again didn't you."

He had told the guys about how they were starting again and neither of them were very welcoming towards the idea after they saw what it did to him last time. They both accused him of being weak and insane and at the time he didn't care. Now Nick realised they were right.

"Schmidt!" Winston yelled into Schmidt's bedroom. "We got a code hurricane Jess situation."

"Shit!" Schmidt shouted back. Together they both sprinted into Nick's room, ready to help their friend all over again.

"What happened buddy?" Schmidt asked soothingly.

"Jess cheated on me," Nick wiped his eyes and got up from the floor. "That was why she broke up with me."

"Sorry man," Schmidt apologised.

"And you know what, I just can't believe it," Nick ranted.

"I can't believe that she could do this to me when I loved so much with all my heart. I mean I was buying her a ring probably at the same time she was sleeping with this random guy. I finally thought everything was going back to how it was and then I hear she cheated on me."

"Nick that's terrible," Winston soothed.

"I know it is," Nick shouted. "I just can't fucking believe that she could do that!" Nick yelled, kicking his poor wall, big fat tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Um Nick there's probably something we should tell you," Winston informed.

"We found out about this already a year after you guys broke up," Schmidt admitted.

"And you didn't tell me?" Nick shouted.

"We should have, but we didn't want you going back to how you were and at the time we thought it was what's best for you," Winston said guiltily.

"Well it's not what's best for me is it!" Nick screamed. "I let my guard down again for her while you guys just watched. You let me get back with her, knowing she had fucked some random guy!"

"What?" He asked angrily when he saw the two exchange glances.

"Well you should know then it wasn't with some random guy," Winston started.

"What do you mean?" Nick asked, confused.

"The guy she slept with was Sam."


	5. Chapter 5

_"Go away Nick, I'm still mad at you," Jess hissed into her mobile. "I'm out with Cece and I'm going to go and have a good time, goodbye!" Rolling her eyes she turned towards the barman who by now had bought the drinks to her and was nosily eavesdropping on her conversation._

_"Trouble with your boyfriend eh?" He asked flirtatiously leaning towards her. "Or should I now say ex-boyfriend?"_

_"Not that this is any of your business, but he is still definitely my boyfriend," Jess glared at him coldly. God she hated guys like that._

_"Really," the man replied sleazily, leaning way too far into her personal space. "Cause from where I'm standing, it doesn't look like he will be for much longer." Resisting the urge to slap the barman Jess grabbed the drinks and walked off. "You know I'm right," he called after her._

* * *

><p>If Nick thought that he was at rock bottom when he found out Jess cheated on him, there were no words to describe how low he was now.<p>

"Why the hell would she do something like that?" He shouted.

"I think it's best you ask her that."

"Too right I am," Nick growled walking out, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

><p><em>6 drinks later and Jess was still going strong unlike her best friend next to her who was retching in the bar toilets.<em>

_"Don't worry Cece I don't mind if you wanna go home," Jess reassured her friend, rubbing her back while she vomited._

_"Are you sure Jess, I feel really bad," Cece apologised her head briefly coming up from the toilet bowl._

_"Don't be silly I'll put you in a cab and then I'll walk home."_

_"If you're sure."_

_"Yep I am definitely," replied Jess absent-mindedly reading the third apology text she had received from Nick. She decided not to reply like with the others as she was still really pissed off with him. "Ok get better soon and I'll call you tomorrow," Jess said, hailing a cab for her as Cece was too busy being sick in a gutter._

_"Thanks I owe you Jess, you're one in a million."_

_'I wish Nick felt the same,' Jess thought to herself as she made her way back inside the bar. No way did she want to go back to the flat just yet so she decided to stay for one more drink._

_"Jess!" She heard a man cry as she walked to the bar. Turning around she saw her ex boyfriend Sam standing behind her._

_"Sam hi!" She exclaimed as he bent down to kiss her on the cheek._

_"How are you," he asked._

_"I'm good," she replied._

_"God it's been so long I almost didn't recognise you, we need to catch up. Can I buy you a drink?" He offered._

_"I'd love that," Jess laughed._

_"Pink wine right?" He winked._

_"You find a seat, I'll be right over."_

_"Sure," Jess grinned. Her phone buzzed with another text from Nick so she decided to turn it off as it was annoying her. As she located a table there was a niggling feeling in the back of her mind that Nick might not like her catching up with her ex boyfriend but she put that to the back of her mind. She was just catching up, it wasn't like they were going on a date. Besides this was only a catch up between to friends and purely platonic and she was still mad with Nick._

_"Here you go," Sam reappeared placing her drink in front of her._

_"Thanks," she smiled._

_"So what's new in the world of Jess?" He asked._

_"Nothing much really," Jess laughed._

_"How about you?"_

_"Nothing either, wow we must live really interesting lives," Sam joked and they both laughed together. "God I've missed this, where did we go wrong eh?" Sam asked leaning in towards Jess._

_"Well I guess it was when Nick kissed me," Jess explained._

_"Oh yeah I remember that, sorry I was way to harsh about that. I should have been more forgiving," Sam apologised._

_"It's ok I understand."_

_"I wish I hadn't you know Jess, I wish we were still together now," Sam replied looking her straight in the eye._

* * *

><p>With trembling hands Jess reached for yet another tissue from the box next to her as she lay weakly on the floor. Dabbing her eyes she desperately tried to compose herself.<p>

Deep breaths Jess, in and out, she told herself again and again. However unlike all the other times it didn't work as tears kept leaking out of her eyes.

Suddenly there was a loud thumping on her door, making her jump.

"Nick," she whispered to herself, pleased he'd come back but nervous about what was to come when she opened the door. "Nick I'm so sorry," she wept as he stormed into her apartment angrily.

"Oh really Jess or are you lying about that too?" He shouted.

"What do you mean?"

"Some random guy you met?"

"Oh," Jess realised.

"You slept with Sam?" Nick asked almost rhetorically.

Weakly she nodded, more tears rolling down her cheeks.

"How could you do that Jess?" Nick yelled.

"I don't know I'm sorry," she cried.

"You know having been cheated on previously with Spencer, you were the last person I would have imagined to cheat on someone."

"Nick you have no idea how much I regretted it."

"Well that's very decent of you isn't it then," Nick said sarcastically. "Remember how low you were and how much you were hurt back then?"

Jess put her hands over her ears like a little child, not wanting to hear anymore.

"No you don't get to do that Jess, listen to me!" Nick yanked her arms from her ears roughly and gripped her wrists.

"Remember that, well times that by a million and that's how I feel. I mean what kind of a person inflicts pain on someone else which they have experienced themselves?"

"Nick, I am disgusted at myself," Jess sobbed. "You've got to realise I would never do it intentionally."

"Well how did it happen then?"

* * *

><p><em>After 3 more rounds of drinks and 6 shots each, Jess was completely smashed as was Sam.<em>

_"Woah," Sam cried out as he fell off his seat and Jess burst out laughing in response._

_"Wwwhat you doing down there?" She slurred and they both giggled hysterically._

_"Wwe should ggo," Sam slurred back._

_"Yyeah I think we may have drunken a little too much," Jess smirked._

_"You can say that agggain," Sam replied. Stumbling towards the exit they both clung onto each other for support and once they managed to get outside Jess turned to him to say goodbye but before she knew it Sam's mouth was on hers._

_"Your mouth tastes like beer," Jess giggled breaking away._

_"Yours tastes like wine," Sam fired back before kissing her again. Surprisingly while she was kissing Sam, Nick did not come into her head once. She knew that something was wrong but she didn't realise exactly what it was. Looking back she knew it was a pathetic excuse but she was so drunk that she did not stop to think about what she was doing. While still kissing her Sam managed to simultaneously hail a cab which they took back to his apartment, making out all the way there._


	6. Chapter 6

**I am so sorry I haven't updated in a while but my GCSEs are in a month and I have been so busy! I promise once I finish them in may I will post almost everyday to make it up to you. Anyway thank you to all who read, follow, favourite and review this story, it really makes my day.**

"So Nick you see I never would have done it but I was drunk and mad at you. It was a wrong place, wrong time situation."

"Being drunk doesn't make it acceptable Jess," Nick yelled.

"I know but if I wasn't drunk it never would have happened," Jess argued.

"Did you know Jess just after we had been going out for a month I was in a similar situation?" Nick asked.

"What you cheated on me?" Jess gasped.

"No that's the point, I didn't. Shane lured me down to the basement of the bar on the pretence of business. She got me drunk and then came onto me and I rejected her. I thought: 'no I have a girlfriend who I care about.' I guess you didn't think that when you slept with Sam. I didn't even love you then and I was faithful to you. What does that say about you Jess?"

Jess just stared back, her bottom lip quivering.

"I guess it says that I'm a cruel heartless bitch," she managed at last.

Nick softened at her referring to herself in that way and tried to calm himself down so he was preaching to her onto a more emotional rather than an angry level.

"Jess your not a bitch but you have caused a lot of damage," he said softy.

"Don't you think I know that!" She suddenly cried at him. "I've had to live with the guilt and remorse for what I did to you everyday for two years. Of course I realise I've caused a lot of damage!"

"Jess I'm not trying to be mean to you and taunt you about what you did, I'm just trying to explain how I feel about it all to you. It hurts so much the idea that you kissed and touched and slept with another man while I was at home, waiting for you to come back so I could apologise and tell you how much I loved you. Imagine if that was you Jess."

He saw her face crumble and her start to sob uncontrollably.

"See, it's not a nice image to have stuck in your head is it Jess?" He asked, trying to stop himself from crumpling into a sobbing wreck like she was.

"When you left, it killed me inside. Now I see what I felt before was only a minor injury compared to this."

* * *

><p><em>"Jess please let me explain myself," Nick begged down the line.<em>

_"Go away Nick, I'm still mad at you," Nick heard Jess hiss. "I'm out with Cece and I'm going to go and have a good time, goodbye!" She said before hanging up._

_"Damn it," Nick grunted slamming the phone down on the table in front of him. He hated it when she was mad at him it. The only positive thing from this nightmare of a day was at least he was finishing early as the bar had to be closed for maintenance. Not that a free night off would be much useful if there was no one to go home to._

_He tried calling her once more but she rejected the call so he sent a text instead hoping she would at least read it. Playing with his phone in his hands, he anxiously waited for her to reply and tell him words he had wished for weeks she would say to him instead of the harsh angry ones she usually shouted at him._

_Things with Jess has become a little strained lately, he had been working double shifts as they were short staffed and she was going through a stressful time at work so they found themselves arguing a lot more than normal. Usually it was only over silly little things and they would make up by the end of the day, but recently it was full blown screaming rows which ended with them both pouting like teenagers. However they both knew that it was just a phase as they were both tired and stressed all the time and it was coming up to their one year anniversary which brought them as a couple a lot of pressure. He just hoped that everything was going to be better very soon and everything would work out for them like it usually did._

* * *

><p>Nick slowly breathed in and out, taking deep gulps to steady his anger that had suddenly rushed to the surface as he was explaining his pain to her. He knew if he didn't calm himself down he would either punch her wall or hunt Sam down and beat him up.<p>

"Did it happen any more times?" He asked calmly, the thought suddenly occurring in his mind.

"What? No of course not!" Jess replied looking disgusted and surprised by his sudden change of mood. "Do you really think I'm that kind of girl?"

"Well I didn't think you were the kind of bitch to cheat in her boyfriend in the first place, but look how that turned out," Nick spat.

Jess sharply inhaled and took a step back from him, her face crumpling again.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," Nick apologised, he knew that was a low thing to say to her. "I'm overwhelmed and just struggling to understand this that's all."

"Nick I was drunk out of my mind and I didn't know what I was doing and I would do anything to change it Nick, you have to believe me," Jess suddenly gabbled desperately. "It was so hard losing you the first time, I can't lose you again."

"You think it was hard for you?" Nick asked looking shocked.  
>"I was the one you left behind when you broke up with me and moved out. You chose to lose me, I had no choice in the matter. In fact I was the one who was asked you to spend the rest of your life with me if I remember and you rejected me because you couldn't face up to what you did. You didn't even make up a reason so I had no idea why you broke up with me. I thought it was my fault all this time and tried to make myself better because of it when in fact it was you. You left me a broken man with half of my heart missing and you act like you're the one who's had the hard time!" He ranted.<br>"And now when I've only just managed to get myself back on track and I become stupid enough to let you in again, you break me." He finished, tears starting to run down his own face now.

Jess hadn't said anything during Nick's speech, just listened and cried silently as she realised the extent of what she had done.

"I've lost you forever now haven't I?" She whispered miserably.

"I guess you have," Nick replied shakily before walking out the door once more.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone, sorry I haven't updated but I'm still halfway through my exams and have had no time to write. Anyway I quickly wrote this today cause I feel bad and I hope you all enjoy it!**

"Hey Nick," Big Bob greeted him as he walked in the bar. "Haven't seen you in a while, are you here to get your old job back?"

"No I'm coming here as a customer tonight," Nick replied taking a seat. "And I plan to get very drunk."

"Why what happened?" Big Bob asked. "Problems with your girlfriend or something?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that, mind you she's not my girlfriend anymore," Nick muttered.

"Oh I get it, sorry man that sucks."

"You don't know the half of it."

"I'm sure I don't, don't worry two shots and a whiskey coming right up," Big Bob promised.

"Thanks."

Nick wasn't sure if getting drunk was the best idea right now as it only made him do stupid things however he hadn't had any others. Besides if he was drunk it meant that he didn't feel any pain and the pain he felt right now was crushing him inside so it was best that he drowned it out with alcohol. He had never felt pain like this before and he never wanted to again, he would rather die than feel this kind of pain again. A pain that he knew would never go away and would stay with him for the rest of his life.

* * *

><p>Cece worriedly rubbed Jess' back as she wept on her best friends shoulder.<p>

"Maybe he'll forgive you, I mean it was ages ago," Cece reasoned.

"You didn't see the look in his eyes Cece though," Jess cried. "It was as if I'd sucked all the life out of them, they were dim and dark and I could just see all the pain I had caused in them. He was angry and upset with me and I can deal with that but I also saw disappointment and Cece I cannot deal with Nick being disappointed in me. I screwed up so badly and now I've lost him forever, he told me himself that I had. When I broke up with him I thought I could live without him, but I can't Cece. He makes me laugh and smile like no one else does and he makes me want to become a better person for him. I guess I didn't try hard enough to be one though," Jess let out a low bitter laugh. "Because look what I went and did," she continued.

"You were drunk Jess, give yourself a break."

"How can I though?" Jess questioned. "When I hurt the person who means the most to me in the world. Before I had never cheated on anyone before, I mean yeah there was that thing where Nick kissed me while I was with Sam but nothing serious. But why when I am the happiest that I have ever been in my life with the most amazing guy, did I decide to do it then? I mean what the hell is wrong with me?" She wept.

"Well you know what they say, everything happens for a reason," Cece offered.

"What possible reason could be worth this?" Jess wiped her eyes, looking for any form if reassurance from Cece.

"I don't know babe, I'm sorry," Cece apologised and Jess burst into tears again.

* * *

><p>Nick chugged the whiskey in one go and he felt it burn the back of his throat, not that he cared. Anything to make his interior pain go away. However it wasn't working this time and the drunker he got, he just got more and more miserable. He needed to get away from all of this, he didn't want to go back home to face the sympathetic faces of his so called friends but he didn't have anywhere else to go though. He had to leave though, he needed to deal with his problems and the last thing he wanted to do was run into Jess. He decided there and then that in the morning once he was sober enough he would leave and go somewhere else. Where he was not sure but he could figure that out on the way.<p>

* * *

><p><strong> 1 week later<strong>

Jess nervously played with her hair as she stood outside the door of apartment 4D gathering up the courage to knock on it.

"We'll here goes nothing," she muttered to herself before gently knocking on the door.

"Oh well look who it is," Schmidt glared at her when he saw her there. "The home wrecker."

"What do you mean Schmidt, we used to be friends."

"Exactly used to be, until you broke Nick's heart two times and turned him against us," Schmidt spat. "Thanks to you he's left and cut all contact with all of us, all he sent me was a crappy text saying he was leaving forever and that he was disappointed in me that I didn't tell him about the despicable thing you did."

"I'm sorry Schmidt," Jess gulped.

"Sorry won't get my best friend back," Schmidt yelled. "For all we know right now he could be lying dead in a gutter! Think of all the germs," he grimaced.

"I never meant for any of this to happen, you have to believe me."

"Well Jess it has and now Nick's gone and there's nothing either I or you can do about it, thanks a lot!" He shouted angrily before slamming the door in her face.

Jess slid down the wall and put her head in her hands trying not to cry. Nick really meant it when he said she had lost him and it was all her fault.

* * *

><p>After a week of making all the arrangements Nick nervously waited at the gate to board the plane to his new life in London. He had finally cooled down and decided to call Schmidt as it wasn't really his fault in the end as he was only doing what he thought was best for Nick.<p>

"Nick, is that you?" Schmidt asked him as if a Nick had been gone for 10 years and not 1 week.

"Hey Schmidt, just saying I forgive you for not telling me about Jess."

"That's great!" Schmidt beamed. "So when are you coming home?" Schmidt asked excitedly and Nick could picture him clasping his hands together like a teenage girl on the phone to her boyfriend.

"I'm not, that's another reason I'm calling, I'm not coming home so you can rent my room out if you want I don't mind just put all my junk in a box."

"Where are you going then?"

"London."

"Don't go to London," Schmidt argued. "All that place is is a crappier version of New York."

"I mean all it is known for is rain, why would you wanna go to a place famous for the amount of rain it produces. " Schmidt continued to rant. "I mean sure the royals are cool and Kate Middleton will always have a place on the Schmidty list but British girls are known for being ugly. Look at Adele sure she's an extremely talented woman but would I get into bed with her, No way in hell!

"What about Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss?" Nick reasoned.

"Oh please Gisele Bundchen tops them any day."

"Whatever Schmidt I'm going," Nick rolled his eyes.

"Don't Nick I'm falling apart without you, yesterday I ate a cheeseburger I was so depressed," Schmidt pleaded.

"Look I'm sorry Schmidt but I'll keep in touch and I have to go now sorry."

Nick hung up the phone Nick boarded the plane, to go as far away from Jess as he could so he could start again a new life without her in it.


	8. Chapter 8

Hi everyone, just to say I will be terminating this story and the other one I am working on as well. I've not been in a great place recently due to exams, family problems and many other things and although I think I am coming out of it I feel that I cannot continue my stories. I already feel pretty bad for giving up so please do not say anything horrible in reply. I will still be reading stories though and maybe one day I will start a new story but for now I will not be writing anymore. Thanks so much to anyone who ever read, reviewed, followed or favourited my stories.

PurpleGrl x


	9. Chapter 9

Ok I shouldn't have felt the need to do this but oh well here it goes.

As some of you may know I recently posted saying I would be terminating this story. Ever since I have received lots of guest reviews, a couple were sweet but most of them were cruel. I'm talking around 20 comments that were plain cruel, I've deleted them as they were guest reviews and I didn't want my story to be covered in bad reviews.

Some of them really hurt me and I'm shocked by how unkind people can be. Someone told me that for all they cared I could die as my stories were rubbish anyway. Another said that they were glad to hear that I wasn't doing too good so I didn't have to torture you all with my terrible writing. Finally one more said that I annoyed them by posting a non chapter when no one really cared about my story anyway and I should go away as no one is bothered by my sad little life. There is one review that I forgot to delete and so it is now in the reviews section if you want to see it. I'm really saddened that this is the reaction to me telling you all that I've not been doing too well because of stress due to exams and family problems. I'm not making this up I've been through hell the past couple of months and this was the last thing I needed.

I understand that my story wasn't that good and I hadn't posted in ages and everyone forgot about it so I may have bothered people posting a sad little note. I just thought people were more understanding and I thought it was better just to say something as I was feeling guilty about not updating. For all I know no one will read this note or the ones that do won't care either and think I'm being dramatic. So go on call me a drama queen and tell me that I'm just trying to create publicity for my pathetic excuse for a story.

I'm sorry it had to come to this and again I know, no one cares so I don't even know why I'm publishing this note. So I guess what I'm trying to say is I feel well and truly rejected well done, you won. I give up, I'll delete this story tomorrow as no one cares about it. To be honest I'm not sure if I'll come back on the website or even watch new girl as I've been put off.

Thanks to the kind supportive people though.

purplegrl x


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